Muse
by RisuBento
Summary: He was a prodigy child artist at the age of 3. So what happens when he's no longer able to draw? His mentor tells him needs a muse...so...come out come out wherever you are musey...poo!
1. Prologue

**Muse **

**By RisuBento**

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**Summary:**

**Sesshoumaru was a prodigy child….when it came to art….by the age of 3. He was drawing anything and everything he'd set his mind too. But when he'd invaded by the attention of his next door neighbor, he can't seem to get her out of his mind. So he draws her. Bad summary...better one later. **

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**Prologue:**

**Rochester, Minnesota : October 29th, 1988**

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oo0O0oo

"Sesshoumaru! Come down and meet the Higurashi's new baby!" Came a cheerful yell from downstairs.

Rolling his eyes and groaning in frustration, he threw down his Batman **(I LOVE BATMAN!)** comic and stood up from his bed. Thumping down the stairs in a lazy fashion, he came upon his dad, step-mom, and the Higurashi's holding a bundle of cloth.

Raising his eyebrows when he heard a gurgled cooing coming from the bundle, he prepared himself for the coming red-skinned, wrinkled beyond repair baby.

"There you are Sesshoumaru. Come on! Meet Kagome!" A very pregnant Izayoi smiled, reaching an arm out and gently settling it onto his back. Okay…he loved Izayoi like his own mother…not that he would ever 'love' his own mother seeing as how she'd ran off with some scam artist a few months after he'd been born---but he 'really' didn't like people touching him. It was SO wrong.

Slumping his shoulders and grumbling low, he reluctantly moved forward and peered down into the bundle in Mr. Higurashi's arms.

His eyebrows lifted in surprise.

How…amusing. This baby 'wasn't' red skinned and wrinkled beyond repair…wow. For only being a day old, she was actually quite nice looking----as far as newborn babies go.

She'd been dozing slightly when he'd peered over but he nearly jumped out of his skin when her googly eyes snapped open and peered straight at him. They were so…BLUE! How strange…normally people of direct Japanese descent DON'T have electric blue eyes…how eerie.

Without saying anything, he shrugged and turned to go back upstairs making the adults laugh and say how 'it was just a boy thing'. Rolling his eyes he ventured back into his room and resumed reading his Batman comic.

But to no avail. Every time he'd attempt to read a conversation bubble, his mind would wander back to a baby with electric blue eyes.

"What the CRAP?" He snarled, angrily throwing his comic against his door. Why the heck was he thinking about a baby? He hadn't even known her for 5 minutes and here he was 'thinking' constantly about those icy-blue eyes.

Growling slightly, he stood up and took out his sketchbook from his art supplies shelf (**A/N: I have one of those in my room! And it has WAY too much crap on it----it actually fell on top of me last week because it was so full of junk**!) and flipped it open to a new page.

Grabbing a pencil, he plopped down onto his bed and did the only thing that calmed him and helped him relax.

He drew.

When he was done, he gasped and threw the sketchbook against his door as well when he'd realized just 'what' or 'whom' he'd been drawing…

"CRAP!"

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0000000000000000000

**So! How was that for a beginning? Should I continue? Yay or Nay? Oh and just to clarify…Sesshoumaru is one of those 'prodigy' children who are phenomenal artists by the age of 3. I actually have a friend who just graduated this past June who was drawing Batman and Superman "EXACTLY" as they were in the comic books when she was 8 years old!**

**She is phenomenal! Seriously! If you don't believe me then don't! But I'll try and get a picture of something she drew back when we were 'really' little.**

**Actually…this is kinda funny…she was actually 'quite' the little potty mouth when I first met her…a bitch too. The first time we were introduced, she laughed and called me a stuck up chicken shit and then kicked me in the stomach.**

**SERIOUSLY! AND I WAS IN A FRICKIN' TREEHOUSE FOR FUCK'S SAKE! SHE 'SERIOUSLY' BOOTED ME IN THE GUT! I HAD A BOOT PRINT BRUISE ON MY STOMACH FOR 2 WEEKS AFTER THAT!**

Ahem…anyway…please review and tell me if I should continue or not.

Thanks!

RisuBento

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	2. Accident

**Muse **

**By RisuBento**

**Chapter Two: Accident…**

**Sesshoumaru's P.O.V.**

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**7 years later….**

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oo0O0oo

****

I was going 'INSANE'!

"Sure" she was cute and all but…damn! She never shuts up!

She was always talking about one thing and then would end up climbing up the walls (or attempting to) saying she was Spiderman or something----which would result in something falling from the wall or a vase being knocked over and breaking.

I was seriously considering calling up for those drug-sniffing dogs you see on "COPS" and have them sniff through the cereal in the kitchen cabinet---

---Because there just HAS to be SOMETHING mixed into whatever she consumes!

I was stuck babysitting her while my parent were at the hospital visiting the Higurashi's. They were on "terrorizing-child-of-doom" #2.

Great.

It also didn't help that I was stuck watching Inuyasha as well. He'd been born exactly a month after Kagome had----on November 28th.

Whatever.

I glanced up from my sketchbook and felt a smile twitch at the corners of my mouth. Inuyasha was "actually" playing tea party with Kagome and her Barbie's.

Damn! If only I had my camera!

Shaking my head, I looked back down at my sketchpad and then over at the picture I was drawing from. I frowned. It just didn't look right…something about the way Superman's head was turned…

"OOOO! That's amazing!" Came a squeaky gasp.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Kagome's electric blue eyes suddenly appeared out of nowhere next to me.

"Erm----" I managed to get out before my voice cracked.

'Stupid puberty!'

"Where's Inuyasha?" I asked, after a few more attempts at NOT squeaking.

"He had to go potty." Kagome answered her eyes flickering back and forth from the comic book picture to my picture.

I wrinkled my nose at her choice of words. 'Typical of a 7-year-old.' I told myself.

"Sesshoumaru?" She said, drawing my attention back out from the clouds and back to her.

"What?" I sighed, waiting for a completely 'off-the-wall' question.

"Why do you copy pictures other people have already drawn?" She asked, her gaze causing me to shift uncomfortably.

"Copy?" She nodded. I hadn't realized I'd spoken that out loud.

"Yeah. You're always drawing pictures of Superman or Batman from the comics---but you never make up your own characters." She said.

I was flabbergasted. I was expecting her to ask something like "What would happen if I put ice cream up Buyo's butt? Would it stay cold?" Certainly not THIS "off-the-wall"!

"How---what…do "YOU" think I should draw, miss smarty-pants?" I teased, poking her in the stomach with my graphite pencil top.

She giggled. "Draw something you see! There are so many things to see----"all" around you!" She smiled, jumping up and twirling around.

'I see you…' I thought before gasping and smacking myself in the face with my sketchpad.

'I did NOT just think that about a 7-year-old? I'm freaking 14! Gah!'

I was starting to think that this night couldn't get any worse…until Kagome stopped twirling around and I slowly slid my sketchpad down from my face, stopping so it just uncovered my eyes, to glare at the person scuffling their feet in the doorway.

"Uh…um. I had an…accident Sesshy…" Inuyasha said, his voice shaking in his nervousness.

My gaze moved downward and I groaned when I saw the dark wet stain already seeped into the front of his black trousers.

oo0O0oo

**4 days later…**

Okay…now 'this' baby was red-skinned and wrinkled-beyond-repair.

I was…disappointed. "Souta" didn't have electric blue eyes like Kagome.

'GAH! SHUT UP!'

oo0O0oo

**There you go! Yay or Nay if I should continue!**

oo0O0oo

**Reviewer's Response!**

**Silver Miko:**

**1. How old is Sesshoumaru?**

In the first chapter Sesshoumaru is 7 years old. In this chapter he is 14 and both Inuyasha and Kagome are 7.

**2. What does 'muse' mean?**

It's basically an artist or writer's source of genius or inspiration. Like…I have my mom. She'll sometimes say something off the wall and I totally get over my brain farts and am able to draw or write again. It's basically something that motivates you to do things.

Thanks for the review!

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**Rachel**: Thank you! It's great to hear that!

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**Tora:** Erm…thanks? I don't really think it'll be THAT big of a hit…but I do hope that people enjoy as much as I did writing it! Thank you for the review!

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**ayesha:** Thank you! It's great to hear that!

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**heather:** Damn! I must be good if you already love this story! Thank you for the review!

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**Shiva11**: I love your user name! Thank you for the review!

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**Esie: **sigh Demanding aren't we? Yes, I will ATTEMPT to make the chapters longer but you'll have to admit that prologues can or can't be long…that sentence didn't make any sense…whatever. Thank you for the review! And just for you…I'll force myself to make a 10 page chapter…k?

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**Lavender Rose:** Thank you! It's really great to know that people ACTUALLY review!

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**ash:** Thank you! Was this soon enough?

oo0O0oo


	3. Emotions

**Muse**

**By RisuBento**

**Chapter 3: Emotions**

**oo0O0oo**

**3 years later…or so. Maybe More.**

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It was the day of my 17th birthday did I finally realize that I could no longer draw. I couldn't. I was so ANGRY! I'd been filling out and sending applications to numerous art colleges around the country but no one wanted me. They would say something like "your portfolio did not meet the requirements" or "we don't accept this kind of art".

I'd finally lost faith in my art skills the day I was told by my father that I was to uphold the family name and follow in my father's footsteps as a doctor. I didn't want to be a doctor. I wanted to be an artist. I couldn't express myself when operating on someone's heart.

Well…I could. But I don't think people would like me very much if I take my blood soaked latex gloves and start doodling pictures on the operating table.

No. I wanted to be an artist. But…I couldn't DO anything artistic. I would start to draw something but then it would turn out all wrong and I would get overly frustrated and go into the backyard and start the damned sketchpad on fire!

It wasn't until the spring before I came home from my first year at medical school did I receive a surprise call from my old art teacher, Mr. Collins. He was my mentor, my idol. He was the most apt and amazing person I knew while in high school. He encouraged me and told me to follow my dreams and pursue art as my career skill and choice. I really thought that I could have if I didn't have a sudden attack of brain farts!

Anyway…he called and asked how I was doing and if I was at a local art college. I reluctantly admitted that I wasn't at an art college but was at medical school. He sounded gravely disappointed. I quickly told him about my attack of artist's block (or brain farts) and what my problem was.

He laughed.

I was confused at first at how he thought my problem was in anyway amusing. He told me that I was in need of a muse.

"A muse?" I asked.

"Yes. A muse is something that motivates you to learn, to DO things. It's basically something that encourages you to think things through and create knew and better ideas." Mr. Collins explained.

'A muse, eh? Where the hell could I buy one of those?' I mentioned that to Mr. Collins and he laughed.

"You can't BUY a muse Sesshoumaru…a muse can be anything. From an invisible aura, to a skyscraper down the street----all that matters is that you are motivated by this something to create knew and amazing things." Mr. Collins chuckled.

I sighed and thanked him.

It was nice to hear a familiar voice, instead of Inuyasha and his annoying friends prank calling me every Friday.

A muse.

Now where the hell could I find a muse in New York City?

Shaking my head, I pocketed my cell phone and zipped up my last suitcase. I was finally going home for the summer. Finally, I could see my family again. It was a nice feeling to be around people I…loved…

I said goodbye to my dorm flunkies, and left for the airport in the waiting outside. The taxi driver was rambling on and on about his family and the weather----I wasn't listening. I was suddenly thinking about the letter I'd received a week ago from the Higurashi's.

Kagome and Inuyasha were going off to summer camp and were going to be gone the entire 3 months. They were lucky to be able to go off and do whatever they wanted while I was stuck studying medical things. I wanted to draw dammit!

I was so frustrated in my thoughts that the taxi driver was yelling at me to get out because I was at the airport and was wasting his time. Well! We'll just forget about that tip, Mr.-I've-got-a-spiked-club-up-my-ass!

It wasn't until I was halfway to Minnesota did I realize that I hadn't seen everyone in almost 3 years. I'd gone to New York about 2 years early to find a place to work and settle down for awhile. It was my father's idea----NOT MINE!

Anyway…I was horrified at finding myself that I was…nervous…to say the least. I was afraid of what 'she' would think of me. If she would think that I was some stuck up nosy person studying to be a doctor…and not the same kid who used to baby-sit her.

I had a filing cabinet in my bedroom that held all of my drawings that were on loose paper. I had an entire drawer dedicated to Kagome. In it was picture among picture of her doing different things---sitting, coloring, smiling, even fighting as Wonder Woman. I don't want to say I was obsessed---okay never mind, I was obsessed.

Inuyasha actually began taunting me endlessly after he'd come across the drawer. He said something like "Sesshy's got a crush! Sesshy's got a crush!" or something of that nature. I was in total denial…but then it wasn't long until I finally admitted to myself that…I was in love with her. A CHILD 7 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME! Is that sick, or is that SICK? I couldn't believe what I was feeling!

But now I do.

**oo0O0oo**

**Okay. That was an utterly disgustingly boring chapter! Please review and tell me your ideas and/or suggestions or just to say hi…because I need a hug.**

**RisuBento**


	4. Home Again

**Muse**

**By: RisuBento**

**Chapter 4:**

**Disclaimer:**_ I own nothing._

**oo0O0oo**

Stepping up to the houses' porch, I sighed and put my bags down next to me.

It seemed that no one was home. Just my luck. I was actually, and shamefully expecting everyone to come running out of the house with big smiles on their faces and envelope me in a big family bear hug.

But no…I went inside and found a note attached to the fridge stating specifically that they were on an extended vacation for about 2 weeks and that they were sorry that they couldn't be there where I arrived home.

Great.

I was about to grumble slightly when I heard a shout from the next door neighbor's. I looked out of the kitchen window and felt my innards freeze up. Kagome was outside with a girlfriend and her younger brother. They were throwing water balloons at one another. If my imagination couldn't get any worse, Kagome was suddenly splattered with one and was completely wet. Dressed in a one piece bathing suit, which I was greatly thankful for, she screeched and charged after her laughing younger brother.

I turned away and quickly went up to my bedroom, needing to get away as fast as possible.

When I opened my door, I inhaled deeply at the same old scent of my bedroom that I'd missed for the past 3 years. It was the same old look to it. My bed was up on a raised loft with a cave-like-bunk underneath where my computer currently sat on a desk. On the other side of the room, was my television, playstation, beanbag, and my extended collection of DVD's and comics. I smiled softly at the sight of my old Batman and Spiderman comic books. How I missed them so. I absolutely refused to bring them with me to New York in fear that something would happen to them or I would be rightfully embarrassed at being found with them red handed.

My step-mother, Izayoi, the sweetest woman in the world, had told me numerous times that I shouldn't be embarrassed for liking something as much as I did. I tried to listen to her but I just…couldn't. I also couldn't be distracted from my studies at medical school. I suppose my lack at being able to draw really helped out because I was never distracted when it came to my studies.

I heard another shriek outside and I sighed before climbing up to my bed and flopping down. I hugged my pillow and sighed again. Izayoi must've washed my sheets a few days before, for they smelled nice and fresh. Oh dammit…why couldn't I get her out of my head?

Was I some kind of pedophile or something? She was freakin' 13 for Pete's sake!

I suppose that'd never stopped people from loving each other before. In fact, my father was 10 years older than Izayoi. I'd always thought that it was a strange age difference but I could clearly tell they were in love.

I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I woke up to a pitch black room and the doorbell ringing. I grumbled and cursed whoever the moron was ringing it this late at night; I'd glanced at the clock on my table groggily and noted that it was 9:30 at night.

I sighed and slid from my bed loft and stretched before heading down the hallway to the stairs. The bell rang one more time and I flung the door open ready to tell the idiot off for being a moron. I instantly stopped in my tracks and felt myself go numb.

"Hey Sesshoumaru!" Kagome squealed lunging forward and wrapping her arms around my waist. I awkwardly stood there for a few moments before hesitantly patting her on the back.

"When did you get back?" She asked, stepping back so I could close the door.

"Uh…" I said stupidly, trying to get over the fact that the object----the TOO young object----of my affection was here…in my home…alone…with me. No supervision. 'NO! BAD! BAD PUPPY! THINK NO EVIL!'

"Uh…about 6:30." I answered, shifting nervously on my feet.

"Well, why didn't you come over and say hi? My mom was wondering where you were. She was worrying that you maybe missed your flight or something. I was wondering if you were dead in some dirty gutter or something, with rats gnawing on you…" She said.

I snapped back to attention and frowned.

"I'm only kidding!" She reassured laughing and moving around me to go into the kitchen.

It was when I followed after her did I realize that she'd been carrying something when I'd opened the door. How she managed to hug me with it in her clutch was beyond me. Females were mysterious that way.

"What're you doing?" I asked, sitting down at the kitchen table and yawning.

"I had the faintest idea that if you were home you'd probably be jet-lagged when you got home would want to sleep. In that case, you probably haven't eaten for a while. My mother asked me bring over some food for you as a welcome home gift." She explained, lifting the tin foil from the glassware dish, revealing a delicious looking meat loaf with mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes, and a saran-wrapped brownie.

"I can see that mama was right! You ARE hungry!" She laughed. I clearly had the look of someone who hadn't eaten anything the entire day. I didn't complain. I hadn't eaten all day. I was too nervous to eat breakfast that morning, and plane food is just plain…wrong----on so many levels.

I watched as she removed the tin foil and brownie before placing the glass plate into the microwave. I took this moment to really look her over with her noticing.

She'd change dramatically over the course of 3 years. She was beginning to develop---in the breast department I noted somewhat wrongly---and had grown a few inches as well. She was beginning to look more like a woman.

I berated myself when she turned around and caught me staring at her. She only smiled and crossed her arms, waiting for the food to finish heating up.

"Have you been drawing at all?" She suddenly asked, not moving from her place by the microwave.

I shook my head and paused to think of my answer.

"I haven't…been able to draw anything since I was 17." I answered truthfully.

"Why not? I've never heard of anyone 'not' being able to draw before." Kagome said, opening the microwave's door after it beeped its completion.

I sighed and let a small smile grace my lips as the delicious aroma from the food wafted to my nose. I shrugged and spoke.

"It's possible. I just haven't had a muse." I said, trying to sound intelligent.

"A muse?" She asked, setting the plate and a fork in front of me.

"A muse is something that inspires an artist or writer---or whatever----to create new ideas or, you know, draw something." I said, greedily shoveling some meatloaf into my mouth.

"Huh…what was your muse before when you were able to draw?" She asked, setting a glass of milk down before sitting at the table across from me.

I shrugged and swallowed my food. "I dunno…I've never really thought about it before."

Kagome sighed and gave a small smile.

"You'll find your muse, Sess. I'll help." She said, looking at me with soft electric blue eyes.

I paused in chewing my vegetables and stared right back at her. I immediately had that itch in my hand to do something. I just didn't know what. I brushed it off as nerves or something.

Later that night, after Kagome had gone home with the glass plate of her mother's, I retired once again to my bedroom and paused when I found myself staring at the gray filing cabinet to my left. I stepped forward and slowly reached out and hesitated before clasping the bottom drawer labeled, 'Misc.'.

I let my breath out when I found that it was locked. I was appalled at how jittery I felt. I was almost afraid of opening that drawer that seemed to haunt me over the years.

I shifted to my dresser, which was right next to the filing cabinet, and opened my top drawer. I pulled out a key that I'd hidden underneath all of my sock and boxers, and slowly turned back to the metal drawer that was ever taunting me.

Why was I so nervous? She was only a 'girl'. "Only". I was completely and utterly nervous to the bone. Dammit! I was acting like I was a scared little school boy. Nothing was going to jump out and gnaw my face off or anything!

With that in mind, I jammed the key into the lock and turned it until I heard a familiar click. Then I yanked the drawer open and I felt goosebumps flame my body as the familiar electric blue eyes stared right up at me.

**0**

**oo0O0oo**

**0**

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There. I finally found **MY** muse to continue with this story.

I hope you like it!

Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and have waited patiently (some semi-patiently) for me to continue! It makes me so happy!

**REVIEW**

**Ta, lovelies!**

**RisuBento**

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	5. Found

**Muse**

**By: RisuBento**

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing except the title and the plot of this story._

**Chapter Five: Found**

**oo0O0oo**

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****

The summer that I'd returned from medical school was a slow one. Kagome would come over just about everyday, we'd sit there and just watch movies or something. She'd make me breakfast and lunch----something I didn't object too because she was a wonderful cook. It's been getting harder and harder to stay around her without carnal thought arousing in my mind.

I felt like a pedophile…maybe I was…loving someone who was almost 7 years longer than me. I was now sitting in my room at my computer attempting to draw something on Adobe Photoshop…only to realize that my mind was completely blank. I thought back to what Mr. Collins had said to me on the phone a few weeks ago…about finding a muse. Finding a muse was A LOT harder than I thought it would be… I didn't even know what I was supposed to be looking for.

Shaking my head, I clicked the 'x' button at the top right hand corner of the program and pushed away from my computer, my swivel chair rolling across the hardwood floor. Clasping my hands behind my head, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to calm myself down…I needed to relax. I needed to STOP THINKING ABOUT KAGOME! And I definitely needed to get the image of her without her shirt or bra on. I did a double take. Wait a minute…

What the crap? I leaned forward in my chair and confirmed my fantasy…which turned out wasn't a fantasy at all…Kagome really WAS standing there…in front of her window…without a shirt or bra on. My eyes grew wide and repeatedly told myself to look away…LOOK AWAY YOU MORON! But alas… I couldn't. How could I when my very fantasy was there…standing directly in front of me? She was changing into her two piece bathing suit…I was almost jealous of whomever it was that was going to go swimming with her. Her body 'has' changed quite a bit…fuller breast…rounder hips…

Oh…talk about major jack off. I groaned and went into the bathroom to take care of my…"problem".

oo0O0oo

The summer was ending and I was beginning to pack my things to go back to New York and continue medical school. I wasn't coming back for almost 4 years this time…I wouldn't have the time. If I wanted to graduate from med school earlier than I was supposed to…I was to have double the classes. My schedule would become so hectic that I was sure I wouldn't have the time or patience to come back.

Kagome came by the other day and asked if I'd drawn anything lately. I told her no and almost wished I could kiss that pout from her face. I needed to get these carnal thoughts from my mind. I needed to STOP thinking about her. I was just finishing my packing when a knock on my door sounded. I said for them to come in and I heard the door open and then close. Whoever it was didn't make a sound. I turned around and felt my innards freeze up.

"Kagome? What is it?" I asked my voice almost cracking in my sudden and unusual nervousness.

The girl just shrugged and wandered over to the ladder connected to my bed. I watched her nervously, as she climbed up and plopped down onto my bed. Another knock on my door sounded and in came Izayoi.

"Sesshoumaru? Oh, hi Kagome." She smiled a sweet smile at the girl on my bed. Kagome smiled and said hi back. Izayoi beamed and looked back at me before coming in. "Have you got everything packed? I came to tell you that the taxi to the airport is waiting outside." She continued.

I nodded and zipped my bag shut. My step-mother grabbed one of the bags and lugged it out of my room and down the stairs while I was left with a quiet Kagome. I turned back to the girl laying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't know what to say… "See ya in 4 year long years Kagome! Don't get together with anyone because I'll be depressed as hell!"? No. I couldn't. I couldn't be selfish. I could never have Kagome as my own. The age difference between us was far too great… at least I thought it was in a way. I was drawn from my thoughts when Kagome spoke to me.

"Sesshoumaru? I'll miss you." She smiled sitting up on her knees. I swallowed and nodded, averting my eyes. She sat up even further so her legs were dangling over the edge of my mattress. "Will you try and write back to my letters?"

I nodded. I probably wouldn't have the time to write her back…but I couldn't tell her that.

"Look at me." She said. I did. She was smiling at me. In that moment, I saw a woman that I wanted her to be… The one old enough for us to be together. She reached out and tugged gently at my silver bangs…which turned out to be my undoing. I snagged her wrist and pulled her down onto my lips. Time stalled…slowed to a numbing throb… I didn't ever want to leave this moment. I wanted her to be here…with me.

But…the taxi's horn from outside honked in annoyance and Izayoi called up the stairs for me to hurry up. I pulled away from her, a light smacking sound was heard as our lips pulled apart. It was only a quick, yet chaste, peck on the lips…it felt like eternity to me. She was sitting there with wide eyes and her mouth slightly ajar. I muttered a quick 'Sorry' and picked up my remaining bag and left her alone in my room.

4 years… I wouldn't see her in 4 years… I was almost glad I'd taken that foolish step, into kissing her. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders that day. My first kiss…pathetic---I know--- was finally granted to someone worthy enough. Someone I could trust my entire being with.

Someone who I wouldn't see in almost half a decade.

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**3 and half years later….**

****

I sighed… it was only a few more weeks until I graduated…I was turning 24 on the 27th of March…and I was graduating from med school about 8 years early than I was supposed to. I'll tell you this much. I don't want to be a doctor. I'm only doing this because I don't want to let my father down. I want to be a comic artist. It doesn't help with the fact that I haven't been able to draw in almost 7 years… I'd actually found the time to write back to Kagome… She'd sent me almost 2 letters a week. I kept them all. Whenever I received a new one, I would tell myself to write her back…and I would start one but would become distracted by one of my roommates or something.

Just the other day, when I was beginning to put my accessories from home and ones that I've bought here in New York into boxes, I came across the box of her letters. I pulled them out and began to read them. She was such a…talker. She 'always' had something to say. I'll admit, I DO enjoy hearing about the stupid things that my younger half-brother Inuyasha has done. I kept the letters in order of dates they were sent by. Starting back from the first week I came back here to last week. I studied her handwriting, how it slightly changed over the years into more of a loopy cursive look. I loved how she looped the 'S' on my name in a loopy fashion.

I shook my head and laid back on my bed. Kagome… I'd tried so hard to get her out of my mind for a long time. I'd even gone out with a few girls, just to get her off my mind. I had a girlfriend for almost 4 months. Rin Takeda was studying to become a nurse at the community college on the other side of New York. She was…cute. She giggled a lot. Maybe a little too much. She was one of those clingy girls that wouldn't let go of my arm unless I was forced to call the fire department and have them removed her with "The Jaws of Life". I'd actually been able to keep Kagome off my mind for almost the entire time I was with Rin…that is until I remembered that it was Kagome's birthday in about a week, last year.

Rin and I were at a restaurant after a long days labor at school and I was 'supposed' to be listening to her when she asked me "How does that sound?"

I came out of my daydream and asked. "I'm sorry…what were you saying, Kagome?"

Weeeell…let's just say that my hair was still sticky after about a week with her chocolate shake that she "oh-so-gracefully" tossed into my face.

I was now waiting for the day to go back home. To see Kagome… I felt like a fool. As giddy as a school boy to put it pathetically and bluntly. Just a few more weeks…

I suddenly had a flash of Kagome's eyes sear through my mind…those hauntingly electric blue eyes of hers. My hand, resting on my laptop's keyboard, twitched. I had the sudden urge to draw something. Anything. Kagome. I pulled up Adobe Photoshop on my computer and paused. This was the first time I'd ever pulled it up on my computer while in New York. I'd just put in on there in case I found my muse or came up with an idea of something to draw. I began to draw her eyes…

Then her hair…then her skin…her pink lips… I shaded everything correctly…it looked like a photograph.

Kagome… It was then in that moment that Mr. Collins' voice echoed.

_"A muse can be anything…it's something motivates or inspires you to create new ideas to draw or paint something…"_

I closed my eyes and sighed. Thinking to myself, I leaned back and looked up at my ceiling. "Mr. Collins…I think I've found my muse…"

Kagome…

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oo0O0oo

**S'bout time you idiot! Keh! Anyhoo! Please review!**

**Ta, lovelies!**

**RisuBento**

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	6. Reality

**Muse**

**By: RisuBento**

**Disclaimer**: _I own nothing except the title and the plot of this story_

**Chapter Six:**

**Oo0O0oOo0O0oO**

**I. Am. An. Idiot.**

I am.

What kind of moron realizes that he's fallen in love with someone----3 years after KISSING THEM?

I should just flush myself down the toilet and rid myself of this embarrassing life.

Kagome. She'd be 17 now…almost 18. I wonder what she looks like. I'll tell you this much. I've decided to settle in New York City. I WILL NOT set foot in Rochester, Minnesota ever again. Too many embarrassing memories.

Closing my eyes I leaned back into the leather couch I'd just purchased only a few days ago. I've bought myself a nice new flat overlooking the city streets below. Nice place. Not too shabby. In fact, it's in a building that a lot of doctors and their families live in. FINE! It's a high scale complex for employees that work at the local hospital. One of the finest complex's in the city.

Dammit! Kagome was STILL in my head! What was I going to do? What 'could' I do? I should just go out on the balcony and jump…end this stupid life of mine. Or I could just answer the door bell which has been ringing for the last few minutes because I was too lost in my misery to even notice.

Standing and making my way through the semi-dark living room, I made it to the entryway and looked through the peephole. The idiotic bellboy named Shippou was standing there looking as if he was about to leave. I opened the door and found a brown package in my face.

"A package for Mr. Kagiyama." He said, sporting that fake beaming smile of his. I quirked an eyebrow and took the package from him. I ignored his outstretched hand, just waiting for a disgustingly large tip, and shut the door in his face. I smirked when I heard the muffled snort and a low "bastard".

Shaking my head, I headed into the kitchen and flipped a light on. I read the package.

**"To: Mr. Sesshoumaru Kagiyama**

**Suite #129 34th St. Queens**

**New York City, New York**

**From: Ms. Kagome Higurashi**

**2311 5th St. SE**

**Rochester, Minnesota**

**55902"**

I felt my stomach drop to my feet and stay down there. Why…? What…? What the crap? Why would she be sending ME something? ME! The idiot who's been in love with her since the beginning of time---okay maybe not THAT long but you get the gist---- ME! The idiot who couldn't control his hormones 3 years ago and decided that he wanted to swap spit with her! Argh!

I closed my eyes and sighed, before looking back down at the large box in front of me. What 'could' she possibly be sending me anyways? I didn't give anything to her when I was still living in Rochester…did I? No.

The box was about the size of a large book. It was probably a "Doctor's Dictionary". I have about 5 of those now…all presents from family. I almost didn't want to open it. I was almost afraid to find what was hidden inside.

Oh fuck! What the hell am I doing? I'm 24 years old! I'm old enough to NOT act like the damn box is going to bite my hand off! Fuck!

I took out my pocket knife and slit open the sides of the brown paper and then the box itself. When I lifted the lid, I nearly fell over. Well…I DID sit down. In the box was an entire set of brand new----extremely expensive paintbrushes…some painting books, a sketchpad, some brand new graphite pencils and some clean canvases. Beneath the canvases was an unopened package of oil paints. I sighed.

I found a note beneath all of it. It read:

_Dear Sesshoumaru,_

_Hey! Man, it's been a long time! How are things doing in New York? Done any extreme operations, DOCTOR! I was so excited when I found out, from you father and step-mother that you've already received your doctorate! I really am happy for you, Sesshou. I hope that I can see you sometime in the future. Are you going to come back and visit us 'hicks' back here in good ol' Minnesota? I hope you can come to my graduation ceremony. It's on the 2nd of June. Oh! And about all of the painting and art supplies…I hope you've found your muse again. I really wish you'd continue with your art skills. You have great potential to become someone amazing._

_Well…I wish I could write more…but I don't have anything else to say. I hope you're doing well and I want to see you soon!_

_Love from, Kagome_

_P.S. Oh yeah! During spring break this year, I'm going on a trip all over the country with my history class. I'll be seeing you!_

I put the letter down and looked back the box's contents. '_Love from…'_ I couldn't get that line out of my head. Wait…what the hell did she mean that 'she'd be seeing me'?

My pager suddenly went off and I stood up, removing it from my belt clip.

_**"Emergency surgery: hospital asap."**_

Dammit. I placed everything back into the box and hurriedly grabbed my coat and slipped my shoes on before practically running down the hallway towards the elevator.

**Oo0O0oOo0O0oO**

"Do you have the blood transfusion ready?" I yelled through my surgical mask, at a nurse assistant across from me. There were about 10 of us in the emergency operating room…attempting to save the life of a car accident victim. She was about 20 years of age and had been driving down the street when a semi came out of nowhere---possibly through a red light--- and smashed right into her. She was bleeding profusely from her severed jugular and I was trying my hardest to reattach it again.

"Here!" Yelled the nurse across from me. She quickly began the transfusion and I was almost sure that the artery I'd sewn shut would hold. It didn't. In fact, with the new blood rushing through her veins the amount caused the artery to burst, spraying us with blood. Shouts and orders were given out and the room became a blur. As I was dealing with the jugular in the neck again, I heard the heart monitor slow into a flat line. I yelled for someone to get the defibrillator so we could possibly get her heart pumping again. I was so intent on fixing the artery that I wasn't aware of the blue eyes watching me. When the voices around me were becoming muffled and everyone was in slow motion, I looked down at the girl and found her looking up at me.

_Kagome_…_"I'll be seeing you soon!" _Her words ripped through me again and I nearly vomited. No…it wasn't Kagome. It was a look-a-like. But…she looked too much like Kagome for comfort. I watched as the girl's eyes faded slowly from their sky-blue into a foggy gray. She was dead.

I wasn't aware of anything else around me until someone was yelling in my ear.

"Dr. Kagiyama! Are you all right!" My nursing assistant asked, her hands clutching my arm tightly in concern.

"Huh? Oh yes…" I said, unable to look away from the woman on the table. I stepped back and fumbled with my surgical gloves. They were covered in blood…then I looked at the floor and found that I was practically skating in the girl's blood. I turned and was heading towards the door when my nurse yelled at me for the time of death. I was out of breath and I looked at my watch…not really seeing it.

"4:37 p.m." I said, before leaving. I didn't want that to happen again. I failed to keep the woman alive…the woman who looked so much like my Kagome.

**Oo0O0oOo0O0oO**

I didn't bother hanging my jacket up when I got home, and I carelessly kicked my shoes off, letting them fall into an accident proned pile. That woman's face would forever be etched into my mind. The way her eyes---too much like Kagome's---faded from their brilliant blue…to nothing but fog. I just wanted to go to bed and sleep forever. At the moment, I never wanted to return to a job at saving the lives of people. I'd just failed at keeping someone alive.

I was tired as hell even though it was after 6 in the evening. Running a hand through my hair, I entered the kitchen and went to the fridge; extracting a beer from it. I was just taking a swig from it when I heard footsteps behind me. I quickly whirled around and felt my insides freeze up. The girl…from the operating table…

No…

"Sesshoumaru? Are you all right?" The girl asked, moving forward. I immediately backed up and my back hit the wall behind me. She was moving closer and closer. I was vaguely aware of the fact that I'd dropped my beer bottle and that it crashed to the floor.

"Sesshoumaru?" She asked again, this time looking extremely concerned. That's when I realized…

"Kagome?" I whispered. I saw her smile and nod.

"I know I should've called…but…I wanted to surprise you. Are you sure you're all right? You're all pale and----oh!" She gasped when I suddenly lunged forwards and yanked her tightly into my arms. I didn't want to let her go. I was so frightened that it HAD been her on the operating table. Now…here she was…in my arms.

I wasn't going to let her go.

Not ever.

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**A/N **

**Oo0O0oOo0O0oO**

_How's that for creepiness? Sorry for the late updates. Been busier than hell with college applications and other time-consuming crap like that. Plus…my MUSE decided that it wanted to take a little trip…TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE!_

**Muse-sama:** That's not very nice you know…I TOLD you I was going to be gone for a little while. I needed some R and R.

**Risu-chan:** sigh I guess I forgot. Next time PLEASE take me with you?

**Muse-sama:** Erm…I don't think you'd fit in my car…

**Risu-chan:** eyebrow twitches Well…get a fuckin' bigger car dammit!

_Ahem…anyways! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Reviews are greatly appreciated!_

_Ta, lovelies!_

_RisuBento_

**REVIEW!**


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